Harry Hindsight

The Award Goes To?

Today will be a VERY important day both in terms of data and the technicals. We have a raft of Eurozone data but of far more interest will be the US data.If the figures are able to confirm yesterdays excellent GDP numbers and the bulls are able to take out and close above 1050 in the S&P and 502 in the SOXX then it means that my recent thoughts that the market was topping out are well and truly wrong. Such a breakout would pave the way for 1100/1150 by the end of the year.I have to admit that I have been a bit stupid running short equities this week. The SOXX showed the way and over the last 3 years almost every reversal of trend has been led by this Index. In future I will try not to think so much and stick with what works!

I will be keeping a close eye on the currencies today. My Euro/Stg is still looking good, though there is talk of a european central bank on the bid at 0.6850. I will also be on the look-out for a break higher in the Dollar; there is a very important level in the Dollar/Yen which if breaks should lead to a bunch of option related stops being triggered.(The level is on its way to members). There have been some Euro sales against the dollar over-night on the back of the Yukos affair in Russia. The thinking behind this trade is that any problems in Moscow are bad for Europe as they are the biggest investor in the former Soviet zone.

If anyone is going to the Investor Exhibition at Olympia today then could they do me a favour? Darren Winters is speaking at 2.00 pm and the poor lamb will be missing the crucial US consumer spending, NY NAPM, Michigan Sentiment and Chicago PMI figures. It must be really upsetting for this "full-time trader" to be away from his screens at this time so I think we need to cheer him and his customers up. Could someone please inform "Doji Daz" that his members have won Octobers Muppet of the month award with a massive 63% of the vote. Darren himself came second with 31% but he needn't worry I have a feeling he will be featuring in the Muppet of the Year awards.

Someone else who could well be featuring are ADVFN. Last month I had a little pop at MoneyAM for some of their partner offers but those deals are nothing compared to the stuff that ADVFN have been peddling recently. Earlier this week they were pimping for Darren Winters and yesterday I was given the amazing "investment" opportunity which has turned £2000 into £28,000 since January last year. Apparently gambling on golf is investing and almost guaranteed to make you a boat load of money. By taking such deals ADVFN are doing themselves and their customers a dis-service as I sure as hell will not be taking the advertising deal they have offered me as I have no wish to be associated with any company that has dealings with the likes of Winters, and I am sure that there are many other companies that feel the same.

Harry

Winters of Discontent?

" It is naturally the semi-sucker who is always quoting the famous trading aphorisms and the various rules of the game. He knows all the don'ts that ever fell from the oracular lips of the old stagers, excepting the principal one which is Don't be a Sucker! "

This quote is taken from the finest book ever written on the financial markets, Reminiscneces of a Stock Operator. First published in 1923 it remains the favourite of traders and hedge fund managers all over the world. I myself have learnt many lessons from it and when I was running market-making desks, at a number of investment banks, I used to insist that the traders read it; or atleast the literate ones! The primary lesson and my first cardinal rule of trading/ investing is Don't be a Sucker.

We have been having a great deal of fun with Darren Winters over the last few weeks and indeed he has been receiving a great deal of attention in the Guardian over some of his past dealings. I don't wish to go into his past dealings but for those who are interested the links are provided below:

http://www.money.guardian.co.uk/investments/alternativeinvesting/story/0,1456,791711,00.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/guardian_jobs_and_money/story/0,3605,1055201,00.html
http://money.guardian.co.uk/scamsandfraud/story/0,13802,1070405,00.html

We sent Potter to a free Winters Seminar last week and DW dismissed the Guardian's articles as being initiated solely due to jealousy of his success. I am all for people being successful, however, I believe Mr Winters, and other evangelical financial speakers of his ilk,are dangerous. Mr Winters offers to teach people how to become very rich. Here is what he says he will teach people in his own words:

1. How, by spending just 1 hour a year you can use a method of investing that has averaged over 20% annual return for the last 27 years!
2. How your investment money can generate you a regular monthly income.
3. No prior investment knowledge needed.
4. How to maximize your profits in up, down and sideways markets.
5. How to minimize your risk and safe guard your investments.
6. The 4 golden rules that every successful investor should know.
7. How to evaluate which companies have the highest growth potential.
8. 3 Essential skills to knowing what to buy, when to buy, and when to sell.
9. Exact steps of how to trade one of the most profitable power strategies known.
10. Proven stock market strategy that wins 86% of the time

During the Seminar Potter tried to play dumb and asked Mr Winters "innocent" questions. However my colleague is not a very good actor and as well as being a bond and derivatives trader for 10 years at the likes of Lehman Brothers, HSBC and RBS he has a BSC in Economics and Finance and the Investment Management Certificate. Mr Winters weasled out of answering his questions and has declined to answer questions we have sent to his,and his personal assistant's, email addresses. Here are the questions that we would like answered:

1. The method of investing you mention that has averaged over 20% a year for 27 years bears a striking resemblance to the figures of Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway fund. Buffetts whole investment approach is based on studying and thoroughly understanding his purchase candidates. How can you possibly suggest that this method takes only one hour a year?
2. This brings me nicely to my second question. One of your "Power Strategies" is selling covered calls, a process where one writes an option against an equity holding. This "yield enhancement" strategy involves using options something that Warren Buffett implicitly steers clear of. Does this not contradict your using his investment methodology?
3. You, and others, advertise this covered call strategy as a way of making guaranteed monthly income. May I bring your attention to a report from UBS who are the biggest players in the derivatives markets and who spend tens of millions of pounds a year on options reasearch; I know as I used to work there. In their report on "Yield Enhancement" strategies, or Covered Calls, a report that I might add involved detailed testing they conclude: " Systematic option writing on equity holding does not work. We recommend investors match observations in the option market with their active view on the underlying security. Our tests show that negative excess returns of systematic yield-enhancement strategies when compared with holding equity are much larger than positive excess returns. In addtition, there are many outliers which are all negative. This is because negative gamma works against the investor in erratic markets." Ok Darren, as I doubt you understand that I will precis it for you. The biggest players in the derivatives market say that writing covered calls does not work over the long term and rather than making a guaranteed return actually loses money, especially in volatile markets. Your comments please?
4. In your seminar you mention training people from the London Stock Exchange, Hargreaves Landesdowne and Halewood International. I am not aware that any of these firms actually trade or invest but rather act as intermediaries or brokers. Have you ever trained anyone who actually trades professionally?
5. I am very interested in you relationship with Hargreaves Landesdowne. Do you receive any commissions from any trades that your customers execute with them? And when I say commissions I also mean "soft" commissions where the firm might agree to pay for marketing and other administrative costs. Why do you take a broker from HD with you to your monthly follow up meetings for members, well?
6. In your seminar you brought up a slide with a number of risk reversal patterns. You said that this information alone was woth £1000. Cannot ALL of those patterns plus many more be found in John Murphy's book "Technical Analysis of the Financial Markets" for the somewhat more reasonable price of £35?
7. You claim to be a full time tarder and to make 100's of percent a year. With whom do you trade? And though I am sure you would not want to show details of the account, using the excuse that your positions are confidential, how about you ask the company to release a statement from their Chief Financial Officer, confirming your percentage gains?
8. I really am interested in the hedge fund you propose to set up. As I am setting one up at the moment I would love to know the following: You are not regulated and you need to take the Investment Management Certificate before you can. When do you propose to take this? You say that a company is going to put £30 million into it and that rather then mess about making 25% a year you will make hundreds of percent a year. What instruments do you propose to trade to make these returns and I'm sure the leverage needed to make such returns is not only unrealistic but quite frankly unattainable. Please which bank is going to act as your Prime Broker and will allow you such gearing?
9. This is my final question and probably the one which should be most relevant to the Financial Services Authority. Are you not making unrealistic claims? And in so doing and letting a bunch of amateurs loose on the options market, are you not leaving your members open to massive losses?

Should Darren Winters wish to reply, as he has so far failed to do so, we would of course be willing to publish his response. We are not jealous of his success but merely think he is talking a load of b*******s, and a load of dangerous b******s at that!

Harry

Dregs of Humanity?

Last week was a fairly volatile and whip-saw affair and arguments could be made for both bull and bear positions. I took the opportunity to instigate a couple of small short positions, with tight stops, in two long term targets: Lastminute.com and Burberry. LMC has been on my radar since February 14 when they delivered a dozen dead roses that I had ordered to the "handbrake." Considering this was the first, and still only time, that I have sent "she who must be placated" flowers I was less than pleased and my demeanour became worse when I found it impossible to contact anyone to complain. Since that event it has more than trebled and a "false break" through and back below 300p has given me the technical backing that I have needed to enter the trade.

Burberry have similarly been a long term shorting candidate but fortunately I can promise that I have never been and never will be a customer. Granted the company has posted good figures recently but iit is trading on a p/e of 36 as opposed to 19 for Tesco. Ok I know that at the moment Luxury Goods companies have a higher p/e to general retailers but I do have to ask is Burberry a luxury goods company? How luxurious can a company be when their brand is the favoured one of the dregs of humanity? I'm sorry to be a snob but it seems that every wide boy "Geezer" and his moll has to have a Burberry baseball cap, shirt, tights etc. The products are naff and so it seems are many of the people who wear them. Luxury goods companies can only keep a high P/E if they protect their brand. Burberry's has become devalued and I am accordingly banking on their shares following.

The Financial Education market place is becoming ever more crowded. Details of a new entrant have arrived on my desk this moring. Atul Sharma is the latest and this prophet can be found at www.wealthdiscovery.biz The usual flim-flam applies. Atul is a self-made millionaire and he is driven by a desire to help others. Again the path to wealth starts with a free seminar and yet again the chaps benevolence then runs out as you then have to pay a chunk of money to get the key to his financial alchemy. He will there teach you how to get "free money" and a monthly income with an incredible strategy that can make 10% a month, every month. As with Mr Winters this "power strategy" is what we call a "covered call". In it you write, sell, an option against an existing long equity position. It is a strategy that has been used for many years by professional fund managers and it sounds very good. Unfortunately, it has its downsides and does not simply offer profit for sitting there doing nothing ! It works as long as you hold the option position until expiry and the market stays within certain boundaries. If you need to cut out of the position for whatever reason prior to expiration then you open yourself up to a) volatility risk i.e. you have to buy the call back at a loss, b) if your beloved share holding gets 'called' away from you as the market flies higher you are left with your locked in profit, but you forego the upside gain you lose by writing the call and c) if the market falls you are still exposed to the downside, except that you have the small amount of your premium as initial protection. They sound sexy and appear to offer 'free' money, but don't believe the hype and as we have demonstrated before - ONLY PLAY WITH OPTIONS IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING ! Refer to the website article on the Covered Warrants Market - the same applies to covered calls.

A number of members have asked why the FSA don't do anything about these Muppets. Unfortunately these "wealth creators" are generally very careful not to break FSA guidelines. It is a shame that making false representaions does not appear to be against the rules however our latest chum, Mr Sharma, does not appear to fully know the rules. In his biography he claims to "managing the investments for a select group of high net worth clients." Sorry Atul but that is a big booboo. If you wish to do that you need to be regulated and having just checked the register it appears that you are not. Unless, like me, you are currently taking the Investment Management Certificate (Potter has his) and you, like us, have exemption from the FSA then I think you can expect to be contacted by them very soon indeed.

Sheriff Harry

The "Cult" that is Winters

Wild swings overnight in the futures market are indicative of nervousness amongst traders. The SOXX was a major under-performer yesterday which has led us to instigate a smallish S&P short position with a relatively tight stop loss. I have a feeling that we could see some interesting moves this afternoon, especially if volatility starts to pick up from its ridiculously low level. If we are at the start of the long awaited resumption then we are going to have fun as there are a bunch of stocks that I have been itching to sell for ages. I say if as I am yet unsure but as ever we will let the market guide us and the SOXX and the Dollar will hopefully show us the way. Unfortunately the Dollar has not been such a good indicator recently. Last year was perhaps the easiest year that we can remember to make money in equities as all you had to do was follow the movements of the greenback in the Forex markets. Ever since CNBC mentioned this correlation a few months ago, however, it has broken down but a dollar break lower will unsettle holders of US assets.

One company we might take a look at is Marconi. Their much publicised problems led them last year to sell their expensive Bond Street building and to adopt the sort of prudent cost cutting policies praticed by good companies such as Tesco's, and move their HQ to the less opulent Euston Road. According to Marconi they are still in the Euston Road but then why is it that there mail is now being redirected to Grosvenor Square? Either Royal Mail are being more pants than usual or Marconi have gone back to their old extravagant ways.

Potter is starting to worry me. He has come in this morning with a shaved head and an orange robe and is chanting "Hari Winters, Hari Winters." As members are aware Potter does enjoy a good rant but never before have I been at the receiving end of his ire. He is upset that, unlike Darren Winters, I am unable to provide him with the 8 keys for unlocking the "safe of perpetual wealth and happiness." Potter believes I need to join the "cult" that is Winters (Methinks there could be a spelling mistake there!) so that I can become a better trader. "Doji Darren" (Another Typo?) used to flip burgers at MacDonalds and is now worth millions. He can double his money in seven minutes whilst it takes me over a year. I need to forget research, discipline and market dynamics and adopt "Power Strategies." Ok I give up. If you can't beat them, join them.

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Harry

Evangelical Fervour

Overnight Hedge Funds took their cue from the debt markets in the UK and the US to take profits in equities leading to somewhat of a rout. As I said to full members yesterday "hedgies" are looking for any excuse to lock in profits as many of us are becoming wary of the bubble nature of stocks. Though having higher interest rates on the horizon isn't great for equity bulls it is by no means a dead cert for playing the short side.The customers at Financial Spreads gave us an indication that a top was about to form when they all started buying HSBC on Monday. Along with the telecoms analysts at Hornblower Fischer and Commerzbank, Spreadbet customers provide one of the clearest contra-indicator signals in the market, indeed many Spreadbet firms rely on it for their profits. Fortunately we took notice and have locked in our profits on both HSBC and the S&P.

So what now? I would expect to test the downside further however we do have congested support from 1003 to 1022. Thus far this sell-off has been based on profit with not alot of volume. I am therefore unsure as to whether this is the start of the down move or a bit of a clear out of weak bulls which will offer an opportunity to buy on dips. The fact that this move has not been led by the Semi Conductors has me thinking the latter whereas a weak dollar makes a case for the former. This thinking lark isn't easy so methinks I will go and find out what the Spreadbet customers are doing! No seriously I slightly favour the buy on dips strategy and will discuss this later with members.

Potter took the afternoon off yesterday to attend a seminar with our chum Darren Winters. He has returned full of evangelical fervour with a ferocious zeal to implement "power strategies" that can double your money in 7 minutes. Those of you expecting a newsletter today on this event will, I'm afraid, have to wait. Thus far Potter is in no fit state to write anything as he is sitting in his corner in a trance-like state mumbling " Hallelujah. I see the light. Darren is my master and he is leading me down the path to wealth and happiness."
Mr Winters does not deserve a newsletter. He's getting a full scale report.

Harry

Fantasy trading?

Gordon Brown must have thought that he had won the lottery last night but the prospect of a quick move into number 10, officially speaking as he already lives there, will have to wait. Tony Blair is not about to expire though the scare has meant that he has managed to miss today's speech to parliament on the latest EU summit. How fortunate that he has such a good excuse not to report on the general chaos surrounding the EU constitution and the proposed defence force; it certainly beats the dog ate my homework.

Talking about a dogs dinner the scale of UK's financial mess became more apparent today with a larger than expected government budget shortfall. This explains talk in the weekend press of the treasury's mooted plan to start taxing profits on property though perhaps they might like to think that such talk in a volatile market could ensure that many profits are immediately wiped out thus creating a new class of homeowners with negative equity.

The markets will be volatile this week. Friday saw profit taking on the back of a weaker tech sector. This area will continue to lead though it is hard to get a feel for the US market at the moment as volume has been so poor. Low option volatility prices have seen a number of large players buying downside protection so a break lower, perhaps through 1024 in the S&P, if in conjunction with a move higher in the vols could lead to a sharp sell off. This will not happen however unless volume starts to pick up as marketmakers would be able to protect trigger levels.

I have been a bit disappointed that the amusing MoneyAM partner offers have become more scarce recently however ADVFN have now come to the rescue with an offer from our old chum Darren Winters for yet another one of his marvellous free seminars. Winters is obviously doing well as he is also advertising on the cover of the latest "Traders" magazine so he can't have been too hurt by a recent Guardian article on him which questioned many of his assertions, especially with regards to his alleged trading. "Dazza" has a bunch of seminars this week, both during the day and after work. The poor lamb must really be well and truly knackered as I am sure he is also trading; oops sorry I forgot you only need to spend an hour a year with his strategy, the strategy that wins 86% of the time. If anyone has any information on this chap we would love to hear from you. Also is there anybody out there who has actually made money from one of his courses and no, employees of the Winters Investment Network can't apply! Potter and I have decided that one of us will go to one of these seminars this week. Unfortunately we can't both go together as we do really trade for a living and have yet to come up with a strategy where participation is optional.

Harry

Misery Loves Company

Considering last night ended with lamb kebab with extra chilli sauce I am feeling surprisingly chipper.Equity markets are still buoyant and a second daily close above 1050 in the S&P will be a sign that this bull run is set to continue. Our favourite indicator, the SOXX, continues to lead the way higher and until this breaks back down through 470 we will ride the trend. In Forex there is an interesting resistance level a bit higher in Dollar Yen with a bunch of stop losses above it which could prove an irresistible target to the Bank of Japan. (This level will be revealed to full members shortly)

The headlines this morning attacking the CEO of Barclays after admitting that he teaches his children not to use credit cards could be the reason for my relatively benign condition. This reminds me of a visit I made to a Barclays branch in the square mile a few weeks ago. On entering I was immediately accosted by a member of staff who said: "Would you like some easy money?" I of course told her that there is no such thing but she was having none of it. I was then told that if I got a Barclays credit card I would be the lucky recipient of a 10% discount on anything I bought from BT and Dixon's.

As full members know we here at Hindsight Towers are simple people and our methodology for choosing potential long and short candidates within the equity market starts off with the simple premise: Are we a loyal customer, do we like the service and would we recommend it to our friends. After that we then go into a host of other things such as accounts, technicals and market positioning etc but it starts from this basic premise. Over the last year the three companies that we have been most critical of have been spookily enough Barclays, BT and Dixon's so it is hardly surprising that they are all in league together; they do say that misery loves company.

I know we have a couple of readers at BT who last time I was critical of them, quite reasonably, gave their point of view. My primary reasoning for thinking they are a bad company is based on my attempt to open an internet and broadband account. I ordered the Broadband, a torturous process that took 3 telephone calls because the website didn't give clear instructions on who to call and BT seem to be unable to transfer customers from one department to another, and instead prefer to give you a new number so you get to go through the whole menu and waiting shuffle all over again. Once I ordered the broadband I then realised that I hadn't asked whether with my new account I would be able to access my emails through a browser from abroad or would I have to dial a local access number.One might have thought that this information would be available on their website but that would be far too simple. I therefore decided to call up and get the information, a task that proved to be as futile as invading Moscow in winter. Despite talking to five different people, each one involving me calling a new number I was never able to find out. I cancelled the order went to the AOL site where they were offering a free modem and a very simple procedure for discussing the process, you give them your phone number and they call you within 15 minutes; now that is how a communications company should operate it. BT, Dixon's and Barclays treat their customers with disdain.I actively dislike having dealings with them and I know that many members feel the same and accordingly when the timing is right we will sell their shares and thoroughly enjoy doing so.

Hell hath no fury like a Harry scorned.

Fantasy trading?

According to a report by US investment bank Lehman Brothers titled "Damocles" a fiscal crisis could engulf the US over the next 12 months leading to a significantly lower dollar. A round of applause to those massive brains at Lehmans but I'm afraid the words horse and stable door come to mind. Had they been a member of Harry Hindsight in April of last year they might have read our report titled "Sell Dollars Wear Diamonds" where we justified our short Dollar Swiss position at 1.6482. This one position ended up accounting for almost 33% of our profits for the whole of last year but what is in store for the rest? All the indicators call for a lower dollar but it will not be a straight line move as so many participants have the same position and we need to see short term players squeezed out before the trend can continue,such as we have seen this morning in the Euro/Dollar and the Dollar Swiss.

In a speech yesterday the MD of the Financial Services Authority, Carol Sergeant, said that
"Financial illiteracy remains a major challenge for some consumers" and that there was " a severe imbalance" between the low level of knowledge and the sophisticated products which many financial firms offered. Now that's a shock.

When I started in the square mile, many many years ago, for an investment bank the first lesson I was taught about banking was how to "mug the customer but leave a smile on his face." This my friends is how the majority of financial firms operate to varying degrees of success. I saw this at first hand at many major banks over the years and in fact I have to admit I was guilty of the odd bit "mugging" myself. Bankers love to make products as complicated as possible in order to hide a multitude of spreads and fees within them. At one bank on a particular trading desk if ever we had a bad position we would package it up into an "exotic option" and sell it to customers at a profit. In this context customers were smaller banks, hedge funds and large corporates. Further down the ladder a similar thing happens with consumer products. The more complex a product and the better it sounds then the more likely you are getting fleeced. In the recent past we have all seen the split capital investment trust fiasco. The head of Corporate Finance at one of the main culprits, Brewin Dolphin, defence was that he didn't realise that borrowing money against shares to buy more shares increased the risk; we accordingly gave him a book on the basics of corporate finance and the Muppet of the Year award. He declined the former but had no choice with the latter.

This product mis-selling still occurs and the FSA is right in that it is due to "financial illiteracy" but is this surprising? The whole industry, from banks to the media, are weighed against the consumer. Last week we published a report on covered warrants highlighting how they really work and showing that they are probably best left alone by the average investor. They do however make certain banks a truck load of money and they accordingly spend alot of money advertising them; yes Soc Gen we do mean you. How likely is it that financial publications are going to criticise a product of one of their major advertisers? One of the "best" current product areas is "Capital Guarantee" instruments but I think I will leave an explanation of this to another day as it will take almost as long as it does to get hold of a real life person at Barclays.

Finally, at last I hear you cry, in a strange turn of events it seems that Her Majesty's opposition is no longer the hapless Ian Duncan Doo-Dah but rather Her Majesty. The Queen has asked "He who would be King" for an explanation of how article 10 of the EU draft Constitution which states:"The constitution and law adopted by the union's institutions in exercising competences conferred on it shall have primacy over the law of member states",
effects her role as guardian of the British Constitution. The Queen obviously takes her job seriously and perhaps the conservative party might like to start doing the same.

Harry

Bubble territory?

When commentators start talking about 5000 in the FTSE 100 within the next year can a top be far behind? With Nasdaq stocks on a P/E of over 40 times next year earnings we have certainly entered bubble territory. The unfortunate thing about bubbles is picking the right levels to short. Many tried to go short on December 5th 1996 after federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan famously used the term "irrational exuberance" to describe the stockmarket. Unfortunately for the shorts the stock markets, after dipping for one day, subsequently more than doubled. So what now?

At the start of the year we predicted an initial move down for equities and then a US "election bribe induced" rebound. On 13 previous occasions in the year prior to a US election the stock market has rebounded strongly as the administrations always offer fiscal stimulus to get the electorates vote. Since March of this year 9 out of 10 of my equity trades have been purchases and though the charts and the trend dictates we have further to go this ratio will now fall. I remain on the trend but now I will only add longs to my pension book on significant pullbacks and I will be looking for short positions but, due to the explosive nature of bubbles on both the inflation phase and then the popping, shorting will be done cautiously. The FTSE and the S&P are perfectly capable of reaching 4500 and 1150 respectively but I will be treating any moves higher from here as profit taking and shorting opportunities. Over the coming week I will be sending members my thoughts on suitable candidates and levels.

With the US celebrating Columbus Day we can expect this afternoon to be quiet. Quite why they get to celebrate an Italian discovering the Caribbean I don't quite know but then I can think of worse reasons for taking a Monday off.

Harry

Blow By Blow

Equity markets have held up well this week when one considers the weakness of the dollar. Excessive currency weakness spooks investors and drives out foreign money as potential asset gains are wiped out by the currency depreciation, a fact that certain whitehall treasury mandarins have yet to grasp when they suggest that a weak pound is good for foreign investment. The strength of the US indices can probably be attributed to home grown buying and when the only other option is about 0.75% in a money market account but hey thats still 50% more than I get from Barclays.

1040 in the S&P remains the focus for many traders and there are a range of stop losses in the market just above though 1048/50 is also an important resistance level and I would not be surprised to see a break of 1040 and then a failure. It may be mean but the prospect of all those Elliot Wavists getting squeezed and then stuffed fills me with a warm glow. Though todays jobs figure out of the US will be watched I will be more interested in tomorrows PPI figure and GE's Q3 results.

According to a study of 15,000 women, conducted by North Carolina State University, women who perform the act of fellatio on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40%. This is really a true story, honest, but I think the "Handbrake" (girlfriend) may find it hard to swallow.
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~brwilli2/cnn.html

Harry